See also: • See multiple variations on ICTHUS FISH page & the Fish page for a piece of web art!
See also: • God won't save stupid people • The God Delusion • God claims he doesn't exist!
Ok. So what is the Ichthys fish all about?

Ichthys Fish is also sometimes called Icthus Fish, Ichthys Fyshk, Icthus Fisht, Ichthus Fisch, Ikhthus Fisk or the Itchy Fish.  (And aka the Jesus Fish, the Christian Fish or the God Fish.)

Ichthys fish

In Greek it is often written as "ΙΧΘΥΣ"

Actually the name Ichthys is correctly pronounced "Itchy" as in "Itchy Fish" and comes from an ancient Peruvian culture that was nomadic in the Amazon Jungle until the middle of the 16th century.  Traditions from the now lost civilisation are still echoed in the Amahuaca peoples of Brazil who speak Cashinahua a member of the Panoan languages and it is from here that the word ixchu (meaning jump) (see: originates.

When the Portuguese Jesuits first encountered the indigenous tribes of Peru they were astonished by the complexity of their rituals especially those involving anthropophagy (or cannibalism) and necrophilia (having sex with dead people).  Before they knew it they had become immersed in the complex spiritual rites of the tribes and unfortunately found they had inadvertently been consuming human flesh in the meals they had shared with the natives.  As far as we know they never indulged in the necrophilia rituals which followed the ingestion of the dead.  Not wanting to advertise this practise and reveal their dreadful involvement they persuaded Pope Paul III to issue the Sublimus Dei Bull (see: on 29 May 1537 elevating the indigenous peoples of the Americas to human beings and forbidding their enslavement.  With the new found support from the Pope the Jesuits were assigned the task of integrating with the local population and converting them to Roman Catholicism.  In doing this they created numerous permanent settlements which were called missionaries and thus began a long standing tradition of the Christian Missionary to go out to the world and convert primitive and isolated communities to Christianity. The term "The Missionary Position" is thought to have come from the necropiliac practises of the Jesuits with these natives but there is no evidence to support this.

Converting people from one set of spiritual beliefs to another it is often prudent to include and integrate the indigenous rites into the new religion.  One of the spiritual rites performed by the natives was the injecting of juice extract from the Maca root into the flesh of human corpses prior to the ritualistic consumption.  A peculiar effect of this combination was to cause the skin to ripple and "jump".  (Maca is still used in South America as an aphrodisiac and is said to cause the sexual organs to take on a life of their own.)  The belief was that this was the remnants of the spirit leaving the body and making the meat alright to eat.  It didn't take the Jesuits long to replace the human body with the more symbolically Christian fish.  Interestingly the effect of the Maca on the fish was more pronounced and actually caused the fish to contort violently to the point of actually jumping off the ground.  This was advantageous to the missionaries as the natives thought it was a miracle and were more susceptible to the rest of the Christian constructs.  Hence the reference to the Ixchu Fish (jumping fish) which soon became suitably anglicised to Itchy Fish.  This tradition and spiritual rite eventually became lost in the annals of time but the term Itchy Fish continued to be associated with the missionary conversion of ignorant people to Christianity.

At some time during the 20th century in an attempt to reincarnate the missionary ethos some unscrupulous individual tried to legitimise the term by attempting to find some tenuous ancient Christian connection with the word Itchy. Struggling somewhat the eventual postulation was that the word is a Greek acronym for the phrase "Jesus Christ God's Son Saviour" which is "Iesous Christos Theou Huios Soter" in Greek (this is written in the English alphabetic representation of the Greek).  The first letter of the first word in the original Greek being Iota (English 'I' or 'J') (Greek 'Ι'). The second word starts with the Greek Chi ('Ch' or 'X') ('Χ'), the third being Theta ('Th') ('Θ'), the fourth Upsilon ('Y') ('Υ') and the last Sigma ('S') ('Σ') giving the acronym "ΙΧΘΥΣ" which could be written in anglicised Greek as I.Ch.Th.y.s or "Ichthys" and is often placed in the fish symbol as illustrated above.  The Ichthys Fish (or more correctly the Itchy Fish or Ixchu Fish) is a necro-phallic symbol representing a pagan fertility rite involving cannibalism.

It has recently become fashionable to buy car stickers of the Ichthys Fish and to place this symbol on a prominent part of the car.  I am not sure if the users of this particular decal are clear about it's origins and meaning but I am sure that most of them think it means that they believe in love and truth and all things good.  It might be worth explaining to them what it really means as I am sure they wouldn't want to be advertising some primitive, mystical belief about the benefits of cannibalistic procreation.  There are alternatives to this bizarre iconography such as the utterly ridiculous walking fish sometimes humorously referred to as the "Darwin Fish" as if anybody in their right mind would think that Darwin was a fish.  Darwin Fish Car Badge But the ideas behind the Darwin Fish are perhaps equally weird as those behind the Ichthys Fish.  Apparently Darwin thought that people transmogrified from fish and so God turned him into a fish but allowed him to keep his limbs so that he could walk around for all to see what happens to people who purport such ridiculous theories.  Well Darwin is now dead and so in the name of God it is a good idea to put a Darwin Fish on the tailgate of your car to frighten other people away from the idea of having such silly notions as the transubstantiation of fish to men.  You can buy your Darwin Fish from the surprisingly named web site

See also: • For God's sake let's get real • Fractal Abuse • Do aliens wear ties? • Pope Understands Equality
If you want an Ichthys tie they have them at: • •
You can get many variations on lots of products:┬áSee • ICTHUS Fish page.

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