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Daphne Fairfax

There appears to be some mystery about the real identity of Daphne Fairfax.  Apparently some comedian used to use her name to avoid paying tax on illegitimate earnings.  Daphne Fairfax is in fact a wholly financially legitimate school teacher.  She teaches French part time and runs her own school called "The Daphne Fairfax School of Elocution and Modern Dance" in Skegness on the east coast of Britain.  She can regularly be found taking her two dogs, Griselda and Gertrude for extended walks along the beach.

Daphne began life as an orphan living in one foster home after another and despite this difficult and sometimes traumatic start to life she emerged as a well balanced and progressive thinker.  She attended various schools and through a stroke of good luck was granted a scholarship at the Slade School of Fine Art in London.  She graduated with honours in the field of Performance Art and followed a boyfriend to live in Paris where she began teaching anthroposophy at the École Normale Supérieure.  Here she became interested in organic farming and was later to meet Joseph Beuys who was discussing the virtual works of R D Laing with an ontologically insecure hare on her allotment.  She & Beuys had a brief relationship but due to their diverging socio-political perceptions of the ecumenical attributes of neo-Dada dance as a true art form they parted company and later Beuys was quoted as saying that it was Daphne Fairfax who introduced him to butter and leather as an alternative therapy.

Daphne went on to develop her kinetic art and what was later to become her neo-Fascist dance routines at the Cabaret Voltaire in Zürich.  It was during this period in Zürich that Daphne developed her integrated elocution and modern dance theory which was later to become hailed as the most influential psychosomatic paradigm of the century.  She eventually moved back to England and set up the now famous Daphne Fairfax School of Elocution and Modern Dance.  You could visit the web site at

You can also visit the Toxic Drums page about the miserable old comedian who has been posing as Daphne HERE!

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